Birth is unpredictable. Period. Only 25% are actually born ON their due date. The average for first time moms is 41 weeks plus 1 day. We knew that but still wondered if the upcoming storm or full moon might mean this baby is coming soon.
The Farm Midwifery Center provides services beyond the gates in Summertown, Tennessee. Many families, like my daughter and her husband come and stay there for the birth of their babies. Other local families seeking a home birth call on this practice for their care. Another large group that is served by these amazing midwives are the Amish women and families in nearby Lawrenceburg.
In the birth stories told in Ina May Gaskin's books are writing about attending these births. Anytime we would go into town you would see the horse and buggies. We'd see Amish families at the chiropractor's office and shipping in Walmart and Kroger, everything from their groceries to a mattress to lumber transported by this version of real horse power. We were about 2 weeks into our stay at The Farm. At the end of our usual weekly prenatal visit Carol asked me if I would like to go with her the next day as she made her rounds to several Amish homes. It was of course a YES! What an opportunity!
Carol Nelson is a midwife, but she is also a nurse. Her "beside manner" is personal, warm, and from the heart. It's very much about relationships and trust as well as the medical side of the practice. Holistic. Calling on the first family was a gentleman in the last stage of prostate cancer. As she cared for him in the privacy of this patriarch's bedroom I had the opportunity to visit at length with a young woman in her early 30's about her life and the births of her 7 children. The youngest was a sweet little girl, about 5 who was very shy. I was an outsider, English, and she was not sure about me. She nibbled on a baggie of dry cereal as her mother and I talked. We lived vastly different lives and yet we shared several things in common. We talked about the births of our children, having chickenpox while pregnant, sewing (a treadle sewing machine was close by), dealing with fibromyalgia. A few other young children, cousins, would pop their head in the front door every so often during the visit. Although she had heard of Georgia she had no concept of where it was located, even though our state borders Tennessee. She had never been outside her community. Schooling is only to 8th grade or age 14, whichever comes first. They feel that any further knowledge will undermine their beliefs and is pointless. Carol spent plenty of time with this sick man, made him more comfortable, taught his son how to care for him, left them with catheter supplies and instructions. The man's wife provided hot water from the wood burning stove and a basin for Carol to wash her hands before we left. This family had heavy hearts caring for their very ill loved one.
This first house we had seen a few days before on our way to neighboring farm where we bought fresh eggs, milk, and meat. From the outside this Amish home was a bit scary looking, like something on a movie set. Rambling, pieced together and worn. A muddy dirt drive and chickens running about here and there. Clothes lines and a washing machine on a porch...a non-electric washing machine like I remember from my grandparents home over 50 years ago. Inside was neat and very warm from a wood stove in the center of the home. Simple. Walls were all white with the plain wide boards for trim painted a dark shade of blueish gray. Windows were plain and clean, trimmed with similar plain boards and paint. Wood floors, kerosene lamps here and there for lighting at night. Pegboards held hats, bonnets and extra aprons. No knickknacks or other decorative items in these homes. No pictures other than a large calendar which hung on the wall of each home. No comfy sofas or recliners in these homes, only straight back chairs and an Amish built rocker.
The next home was on the other side of the tracks, so to speak. We stopped and spoke to the husband on the road as we were on our way in and he was on his way out. These people all know Carol. They recognize her car as we would approach, and she knows them. This home was larger, seemed newer. In addition to the wood burning stove in the center of the home was a simple closed stairway leading upstairs. We stayed downstairs but I was curious about what was above! A late teen or 20 something daughter was busy washing dishes in the next room while we were there. I saw her entering with water, heard her working and saw her exit but we never spoke. No running water. No electricity. Water from the outside, hand pumped and heated on the stove. dishes washed in a basin using handmade lye soap.
The woman we were there to see needed some blood work, ordered by her doctor. She was in her early 50's, had diabetes, some blood pressure issues. Very friendly and talkative, simple but well spoken. We all three chatted for a bit while Carol did the blood draw and took her blood pressure, recording information with pen and paper pulled from her bag. We could have left it at that but it is about the relationship with this community. The conversation continued about various family members and what was going on with their health, with their pregnancies. Carol was also finding out important information about who was expecting and although second hand, how they were handling a difficult pregnancy. I was just taking it all in. Trying to figure out the genealogy of the characters and follow the plot was interesting to say the least! Was it okay for her daughter to continue to take buggy rides with her history of miscarriage and this pregnancy of multiples? This was better than anything on reality TV!
In their world they do not use the modern conveniences that we take for granted. At one point in our conversation this wife and mother couldn't remember a detail about something with her daughter's health and went to a large oak desk for a stack of letters tucked away in a drawer. She found the letter and the information to ask Carol. She would relay this to her daughter. This was a flashback for me. I remember when long distance was rather expensive and something you wouldn't do every day, maybe once a week and then we'd watch the time to avoid a large phone bill. Back in the day I lived far away from my parents and we wrote actual letters like those on a regular basis. I kept many of those cards and letters, now in a box in the attic. Trying to imagine not being able to pick up the phone and call my parents or text and call my kids, but solely rely on paper, pen and postage stamps sort of blew my mind! I'm grateful that we are able to communicate easily and often but I do appreciate the handwritten letter or note.
As we left I noticed the freshly washed dishes laid out. It was not meant to be the look of an Instagram post simplicity and beauty was there. It would have been so wrong for me to take a picture. My mind knew I needed to remember that moment. Clean stacked dishes neatly arranged on a plain but sturdy wood table. Serving and mixing spoons hung on a wood pegboard at eye level with a plain white cloth, gathered on a sting or wire, like a small curtain between the utensils and the wall.
The last home was to see a young expectant mother. This was her third baby. A young toddler was napping and snoring on the floor on a pillow while we talked. A baby girl was asleep in a crib in the parent's bedroom. This was the first prenatal visit for this pregnancy. She was unsure of how far along she was and had had only one period after the birth of the last baby 8 months ago. She was about the same age as my granddaughter. This young mom went to the out house to provide her urine sample. Carol talked to her about the importance of keeping her blood pressure and blood sugar under control, nutrition, vitamins and supplements. In another "we take for granted" moment I thought about all that is at our fingertips with education. We have an endless supply of information about pregnancy and all things related. Carol was needing to gently guide this "experienced" young mother so that she would have a healthier pregnancy this go around. We moved to the bedroom for a brief exam. From her measurement, LMP, symptoms, Carol estimated this baby to be due in late July. Late July with no air conditioning, heavy dark clothing, two young babies to care for in the meantime. It made me appreciate central AC and a lot of other things!
The only toy I saw was a faceless cloth doll. Faceless as to not make an idol or graven image. The baby girl was wearing the same style dress as the other women and girls, even at this young age. Dark blue, long sleeves, long skirt on the dress, head covered, no shoes but long black socks. Cloth diaper. Cloth diapers and washing without the aid of hot running water and electricity. Carol told me that they'd often hang diapers that were not soiled but (urine) wet diapers on the line to dry and reuse. A terry washcloth folded to a triangle was safety pinned to the dress front as a bib. Another safety pin was tied with a piece of yarn and tied to a pacifier. Safety pins and lots of straight pins hold their clothing together, even their underwear. Women's clothing does not use any buttons although men are allowed. No zippers, no elastic, no bras. Men and boys use suspenders only, never a belt. Shoes for men, women and children are totally utilitarian, heavy black boots, thick black socks.
We stopped at a clinic on the way back to drop off the blood samples of the day and my head was swimming with all that I had witnessed. Carol was as patient with me and my questions as she was with Sara and every person we had seen that day. She called the physician that cares for the first two people we had seen. Listening to the conversation between them on speaker phone I heard what I already knew about this amazing woman, that she is an extremely valuable healthcare provider and connection to the Amish community!
I know that I was given an extremely rare opportunity. This day was one of the many priceless gifts bestowed on me during my time in TN. I was invited to journey to a foreign land inside the borders of rural Tennessee. It was an incredible privileged and honor and I will forever be grateful to Carol Nelson for inviting me and to the Amish families who allowed me into their homes.
While I wasn't directly doing "doula" work on this outing I grew to appreciate Carol even more and want to incorporate building trust and relationships with those that I work with, not simply to attend a birth. The way of life within that community is very different than what we are used to and there are many challenges as a result, yet she is able to care and guide in a non-judgmental way. Her gentle approach and peaceful bedside manner provide a unique quality of care I hope to strive for in my practice.
Giving birth at The Farm is really a home birth. They encourage families to be there about a month before your estimated due date. This is a time to get settled in this temporary home away from home. There are several birth cabins available for rent. With Baby due the end of January, exactly one month after Christmas, Sara and Casey decided to wait a little longer, after the holidays to set up housekeeping in Tennessee. It was the home of another midwife who was away and often makes her place available for families to rent. It didn't take long for them to get used to the place, unpack belongings and add their own personal touch. Sharon's light filled cabin is nestled in the middle of this private community of homes, surrounded by 4000 continuous acres of beautiful forest!
The weeks and days leading up to this temporary move were super busy so to finally be there was a relief. Another clinic visit with the birthing team was as enjoyable as the first. Carol felt like Sara had some time before baby would be here, offered suggestions of places to visit and things to do. I came up to serve as doula about a week later. Excited to also finally be there. Happy to enjoy these last few weeks and days, cooking, reading, hiking, continuing to prepare for this most important doula work!
If you've read the birth stories in any of the writings of Ina May Gaskin, you'll recall the swimming hole. Although we did not swim, the hike to, from and around this spot was so perfect, so seemingly untouched. This was the area we hiked most often, even in the snow. To get to one portion, "Devil's Backbone"; a steep climb up a rocked ridge, covered in trees, fallen leaves, lovely carpets of green moss, required crossing a creek. The bridge, I mean "bridge", was actually two ropes, tightly strung between trees. One rope for the feet, one about chest high to hold onto. How many very pregnant mommas would venture across such a thing, not once but several times? Sara had no hesitation and made the crossings like a champ! In the pictures below she is "overdue" by 5 days, 1 week before birthing day. Tracking this trek via a phone app, it was the equivalent to 21 stories. Depending on which way we took coming and going, 5-7 miles. Definitely my favorite and most memorable hikes!
Another great hike was to Stillhouse Hollow Falls, a short drive away and open to the public, about 10 minutes from The Farm. We had made this hike on our first trip back in September. A beautiful waterfall that drops some 75 feet is a great reward to this scenic spot. During our Hypnobabies training, this was often the "safe place" I would use in my visualization. It's that pretty! That peaceful!
This area of Tennessee has a large Amish community in nearby Lawrenceburg and the midwives of The Farm have served this population for many years and countless births. Situated in the midst of Amish country is a farm owned by large non-Amish family who sell locally to individuals, restaurants and other markets. We ended up visiting on more than one occasion to purchase farm fresh eggs, fresh milk and meat. If only all farms were like this: animals raised with plenty of room, a healthy diet, cared for so well.
More on my visit to the Amish community in my next post.
Fortunately Sara and Casey have jobs that allow them to work remotely so part of settling in for them was doing what they do and working. Biggest challenge was the internet. That's a whole other story!
My dream existence involves living on a Farm. Chickens, goats, a lovely garden of vegetables, fruits, herbs and flowers. One day, maybe. But then there's The Farm in Summertown, Tennessee. Anyone who has read Spiritual Midwifery, Birth Matters or Ina May's Guide to Childbirth has heard of this place. Once a hippie commune, now some 44 years later, it is described as an intentional community that has created a model for sustainable living. The part I was most interested in was The Farm Midwifery Center.
As I began my doula training with DONA, the first step was a lengthy reading list on a variety of topics that related to birth. At the top of the list were the books mentioned previously by Ina May Gaskin. These books with their birth stories were my favorites and ones that I could not put down! THIS was such an ideal way of approaching birth.
My daughter Sara was who initially introduced me to the idea of becoming a doula, before I knew what a doula was and has been my greatest encouragement to pursue this dream also read these pages with joy and anticipation. Before ever conceiving she knew that this was a place that she'd want to go to birth her baby.
Fast forward a year. Newly pregnant she began to investigate her options and contacted The Farm Midwifery Center to inquire about coming to have her baby in this wooded childbirth mecca, about 5 hours from where we are in the Atlanta, Georgia area. Her prenatal care was with a local practice and if necessary, would have stayed with them for the birth. They were on board with the plan and provided very good care throughout her pregnancy. (Although she did have to explain The Plan to go to The Farm many times along the way!)
Communication continued throughout the following weeks and months with her records forwarded to The Farm on a regular basis. They asked us to come up for a visit at around 2nd trimester so in mid September Sara, her husband Casey and I made our first trip to meet her midwife and team, Carol Nelson, CPM and two apprentice midwives, Sara and Tania. Part of the Midwifery Center is training the next generation in this special model of care and having these young ladies there from day one was wonderful.
I had seen pictures in the books and on the videos of this place and it looked exactly the same. I'd seen several OB/GYN practices in my lifetime, delivering 4 babies in 3 different states, 4 different cities. This looked nothing like those! Clinic hours are on Wednesdays. The number of families like us they serve is limited. On purpose. So, when we got there they were ready for us. No waiting to be seen. They were there for us. We spent 2 full hours just talking, getting to know one another. Talking, laughing, asking questions of each other. Never ever rushed. Peaceful and relaxed, within no time these 3 people were becoming friends. This was our TEAM! It wasn't until well into the visit that Sara stepped up the the table for an exam, just checking the baby's heart rate and measurements. Watching Carol's hands on that growing belly...I loved seeing her work, feeling her wealth of experience and feeling confident that we were beginning an amazing relationship with this wonderful lady! She talked about chiropractic care for some round ligament pain, nutrition and we left feeling well taken care of and supported.